Constance Wu on Coping With Sadness Following a Suicide Attempt: “You’re Never Entirely Cured”
The Crazy Rich Asians actress, 40, has recently been incredibly open about her own battles with mental health. The actress went into even more detail about her efforts to rehabilitate in a new interview on Dax Shepard’s Archetypes podcast.
She said, “Some people think that counseling is like a button. The fact that it occurs less frequently is sort of the purpose. “You ‘hit’ this mistake once [during a session], then you believe you’re cured, and then it relapses a couple months later and you have to do the work again. Then it’s 10 months, then it’s 10 years.
Wu went on to describe heartbreak as “a bullet in a glass.”
“People think that it’s a ball and a cup that slows down time, but it’s not. It remains the same size, it’s just that the bag gets bigger,” he said. “The downside is how long it takes to bounce back. You get better [at coping with grief], but you never fully heal.”
Following her controversial tweet in May 2019, in which he expressed her anger at the renewal of the show Fresh Off the Boat for a sixth season, Wu received a lot of backlash from fans and critics – including direct messages from from another Asian actress who. , according to Wu, called it “an embarrassment to my race.”
This incident led Wu to attempt suicide, followed by a rigorous course of treatment. “I tried to kill myself and I was in New York, which was not my home, because I had just finished the movie Hustlers,” he told Shepard at the time. . “I was connected to a vet I had never met before, but I see him every day. But when I came back to LA, I saw a psychologist who worked with people in the company, and I was able to face him. I see him at least three times a week.”
Getting to the point where she “can be honest” with her therapist took time, Wu said. “I think a lot of people go into therapy, or to express something – a break, or whatever. They’re telling stories about their own stories, saying, like, ‘Oh, but what that happened,’ instead of going into a session like. , ‘I did these bad things. I am not a good man. What does that say about me?’” he said. “When you can get to the point where you can talk about these things without shame, I think that’s when you start to heal them. I think very few people go down that road, or it takes them a long time to get there. It took me a while.”
She added that the therapy also helped her understand the value of developing empathy for her offenders. For example, in her memoir Making the Scene, Wu devotes an entire chapter to her rapist, who he hopes will portray the man as sympathetic so that readers can see his humanity. . (Wu writes that in her twenties, she ended a relationship with a man in his thirties who encouraged her to have sex after she repeatedly said no. , he explained that he “had to fight” and “quit” as he did.) Ryan Murphy, the Creator of “Dahmer,” Claims He Contacted the Families of 20 Victims: “Not One Person Responded”
“In this article, I talk about being a rape victim, but I take the time to consider the rapist’s point of view and how he would really feel, not just that it’s clean, but that I’m the bad guy in that situation,” he told her. Shepard. “It’s interesting because I think when you try to understand or are curious about the human experience, people think you’re supporting them,” she continued. “I’m not, of course. It was a good exercise for me to do that, to be like, hmm, I can see how he feels [it’s a belief], even though I actually said these words, ‘I’m not ready for having sex.’ ” 카지노사이트
Wu added that she wrote the chapter “not for him,” but as a way to “forgive me a little.”
“It’s a gesture that I would like men to extend to women,” he explained about practicing empathy, which he says can help improve the conversation around consent.
“I don’t think it’s asking [men] too much to consider that their opinion isn’t the only thing that’s right,” she said. “When you are strong in your opinion, it does not become a threat to think of someone else. I think that when you can hold both things, understand them and appreciate them, both can be effective.
In the past Wu has responded to criticism that he showed too much sympathy for the victim in his book. “Some people think I feel sorry for my rapist, and I can understand how it would be seen that way,” she told Loretta Ross at the MKERS 2022 conference, an event global leadership aimed at advancing equality for women in the workplace and beyond.
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“People say he doesn’t deserve it or whatever, and I’m like, it’s not about whether he deserves it or not,” she explained. “I tried to think about what he might be going through because it made me feel better. It made me blame myself.”
Wu also argued that while some people say that “forgiveness is for the other person and whether they deserve it or not,” he decided to take a different approach. “Forgiveness is about taking a heavy weight off your own chest,” she explained. “And if anyone deserves to be free from his heart, it’s the victim, not the rapist, right? Therefore, you must do what is best for your heart. For some people, it may sound like, ‘you’re being hurt!’ … But for me, it’s trying to understand… where the other person might be coming from – not to condone it, but just to understand it. “
Constance Wu Says She Doesn’t Want to Hide Her Mental Health Problems From Her Daughter: ‘i Want Her to Know’
Constance Wu talks about the emotional trauma that led to her suicide three years ago.
In the latest episode of Meghan Markle’s Archetypes podcast, the Crazy Rich Asians star, 41, tells the story of her controversial tweet in May 2019, in which she expressed her anger at the renewal of the hit show Fresh Off the Boat for the sixth time. . The tweet sparked a backlash from fans and critics – including a direct message from another “Asian actress” who Wu said called her “an embarrassment to my race”.
Emotional factors drove Wu into a downward spiral that sent him to therapy.
Reflecting on her choice to open up about the experience in her new memoir, Making the Scene – which also talks about sexual harassment she faced from a producer – Fresh Off the Boat said she important not to diminish the experience in order to do so. The 2-year-old daughter, who she shares with musician Ryan Kattner, could learn from her one day. “I was so ashamed of my suicide attempt that my parents didn’t find out until a few weeks before I released a statement [talking about the attempt],” she explained. “In an Asian American family, it’s hard to say those kinds of things, so you don’t do it.
Wu said her mother warned against going public with the experience for her grandson’s sake. “My mom was like, ‘Okay, think about your daughter now when you come out with that. Is that what you want her to know you did?’ You’re a public person, you shouldn’t let these things go,” Wu recalls. “It was funny because I could see his point of view but I said, ‘You know what mom? I want him to know. I want him to know that everyone, including his mother, goes through hard times and when you go through those hard times, people will help you and you can find help and you can improve yourself .
Although she has not been in a relationship with the Asian actor who approached her, Wu admits that she has forgiven him, stating that forgiveness plays an important role in her personal growth. “When I think about the actor who made me feel so ashamed of DM, it’s because he thought I should suffer, he thought I didn’t suffer enough,” Wu said, being adding that their exchange made him think. different about social media. “I don’t think he’s a terrible person. I think the internet does that to you, because you don’t get to see the person going through anything, and I think [seeing me in person] would have opened up more to their sympathy than their judgment.”
About the 2019 text – in which he secretly wrote “He’s so angry now that I’m crying. Ugh. F***” after the announcement of the new Fresh Off the Boat – Wu tells Markle that at the time the fans called him “thankful and small and brave”.
Although in hindsight she admits the tweet was a mistake, she says the context is that one of the film’s producers sexually assaulted her.
He said bluntly, “Part of the reason my Twitter rant three years ago about the renewal process seems unnecessary is because it’s been years of preventing the kind of abuse I’ve faced from the developer. ,” he said bluntly. Wu, who had never acted on network television before the show, said the unnamed producer made him “scared” that anything wrong would get him fired.
“This producer is like, ‘I’m protecting you, so you have to do everything through me, but if you turn around, you don’t know what can happen. So don’t talk to your agents, don’t talk to your lawyers. It’s all coming out of me,'” he explained. “I kind of thought, OK, because I don’t know what else to think.”
As heartbreaking as those years were, Wu says there was a silver lining. The collective discussion prompted him to “quit social media” and put his career aside to focus on his mental health. “When I think about what would have happened if I didn’t have that kind of help at that time. I wouldn’t have had my daughter, you know?” he says. “It was really scary… I feel like not only did I get it, but I’m better because of it. It will always be a scary moment in my life.”